Satirizing CollegeBoard - Short Story

    In our good-natured world of education, there once was an organization called CollegeBoard. Now CollegeBoard had a very special relationship with a high school scholar named James - a relationship that involved more stress, fees, and "college prep" that he could have ever dreamed of.

Their relationship started on a positive note from the very beginning when James introduced himself to CollegeBoard as he was signing up for his account. CollegeBoard was really nice about the whole signing up situation, asking for his name, address, and phone number in all the correct boxes and even giving him a "remember me" box to check to ensure their long-term friendship. Unfortunately for James though, he wasn't quite high up on CollegeBoard' s "friend list" and CollegeBoard had a bit of trouble remembering James when he tried logging back in each time. 

James soon realized that CollegeBoard chose to value his privacy and security so deeply that he erased his credentials every time he logged in. CollegeBoard wasn't going to let that puny little "remember me" checkbox hold him back from protecting James' information. James was extremely impressed by CollegeBoard' s morals: Sure, it meant performing the procedure of entering his name and password repeatedly along with the 6-digit two-step verification code, but it was a small price to pay for the peace of mind CollegeBoard provided. James learned to respect CollegeBoard, as CollegeBoard was not only his guide with colleges but also his guide in the dangerous world filled with cybersecurity threats.

When CollegeBoard told James of the money he'd save by earning college credit, he was thrilled to register for his AP exams. For just a few hundred bucks, he'd be investing in his future and pave the path for "scholarly rewards." CollegeBoard was even kind enough to offer James a partial refund (minus the processing fee) if James ever wanted to back out. Not that James would have ever wanted to back out, however. Because after registering for the exams, James was treated with countless selections of AP Daily movies that he could binge-watch with his other classmates. 

James, who was still new and surprised with this luxurious treatment, asked his classmates what their experience was like with CollegeBoard. "The AP Daily videos are just the beginning," one friend said. "Wait until you try the practice MCQ's and FRQ's. CollegeBoard will give you an excellent in-depth explanation for every answer you get wrong." Another friend of James chimed in, "Fax no printer, like if you pick B when the answer was C, CollegeBoard will say something like, 'B is incorrect. C was the better response.' It's really insightful, honestly. CollegeBoard sure does point out where you go wrong!" 

Impressed with his friends' responses, James decided to try the MCQ's and FRQ's himself. And they did not disappoint. James became obsessed with the captivating nature of the tests. Unable to go to sleep, he would spend hours overnight studying knowing the consequences if he didn't. James enjoyed the experience so much in fact, that his eyes started to turn red and his head started to tingle from the test's mesmerizing questions on his bright screen.

However, the CollegeBoard' s relationship with James did not stop there. CollegeBoard, being an accountable friend, wanted to make sure that James had the "smarts" to get into the college of his dreams. To make sure that he was truly ready, CollegeBoard provided James with guidance in the form of the standardized test (SAT), a test so standard that it would set the standards of his entire future. Thinking about his entire future caused James to worry a little, but CollegeBoard assured him there was no need for such worries when there are always second chances. "It's never too late to boost your score," CollegeBoard told James. "It just takes time and money, and using both wisely will help you improve your future life."

As time went on, James moved on to college. Just like CollegeBoard promised, his years of dedication to the SAT and AP exams were finally paying off - perhaps not in the way he imagined however. Although his SAT score didn't open as many doors to colleges that he hoped, James learned to master the art of bubbling in his answer sheets efficiently and perfectly, which would prove extremely useful in college. As for the AP exams, it turned out some of his exams never qualified for college credit. Still, James remained thankful for the "lessons" CollegeBoard had taught him on resilience, the value of money, and morality.